So what exactly do you do?

What do you tell the dentist when he asks you what you're doing now that you've graduated from college? You know that you have about 25 seconds to say something before he sticks a metal scraper and a mirror in your mouth, so it had better be a concise statement. I admit, whenever anyone asks me what I'm doing this year, I pause for a few seconds to analyze how much I think they want to hear, and answer accordingly. Most people get the 45 second version, and a few get more details, but the 45 second version is good enough for most.

Occasionally when the tenth person in a row has asked me what I'm doing, I am slightly tempted to get more creative in my answers. Here are some good choices:

"I'm in a Fellows program. They let me in because my name sounds like a boy's."

"Well actually, I joined a cult."

"I can't actually tell you what I do."

I've never been brave enough to try any of these, because the people who ask me what I'm doing are generally nice people, so I just try to give a quick overview of what I do. I have a part time job, I take a couple seminary classes, I work with the youth group, I tutor a 2nd grader once a week, there are 11 other people doing the same thing I am... and yes, I like it. No, I don't know what I'm doing next year.

What is this "real world"?

They tell me that this is training for real life, having small amounts of "free" time and having to budget it very carefully. They say that in the "real world" I will be as busy or even busier.

They tell me that it is good to learn to know lots of people and keep up lots of friendships. But at what cost? Does this mean in real life I'm doomed to having many shallow relationships and none with any depth? It seems that I should just adjust, just do the best I can with the material they give me, with the expectations they have.

I refuse.

I have no desire to perpetuate the American status quo, to continue in the pattern of interactions with people in which there need be no discomfort; poking and prodding need not be tolerated. If someone gets too close or does something painful, we cut off the relationship, we move on to something new. We can always say our feelings have changed or we just don't see the point anymore or it's too painful and we cannot [and need not] take it.

So we stay away from people, we isolate and insulate ourselves, we try to get to know people and form a community, but our pride gets in the way, our habits get in the way, our attitudes get in the way, our time management gets in the way. What time in our busy schedules can we sacrifice to get to know other people?

Look at that last sentence again. Time spent getting to know people is a sacrifice? Yes, it is, this is true. But what does American culture know of sacrifice? Investing in people and truly getting to know their ins and outs is not seen as worthwhile, as something worth pursuing. Building a true community in the fullest sense of the word is rare, even for those with the best of intentions.

How then can we achieve such a thing? How can we make a stand to be different, to truly care for one another and to live out the true [and practical, difficult] meaning of love?